How To Avoid Temptation In A Relationship
How To Avoid Temptation In A Relationship.
Infidelity which is the action of being unfaithful to a spouse, is probably as old as marriage itself. Most times people don’t intend to cheat in relationship. But they cheat when they fail to give themselves fully their spouses/partners. We cheat when we get emotionally connected with opposite-sex friends from school/college. Such behavior almost always comes from temptation. When an opportunity presents itself, we feel tempted to sin. However, the difference, according to studies, is that women are more discreet when they cheat on their men and they are not likely to be caught. And of course, they would not boast about it, unlike men, some of who believe it elevates their status. But no matter how you want to classify temptation, I believe it is wise learn how to avoid temptation in a relationship.
What is temptation?
Temptation means the desire for something bad: A desire or craving for something, especially something considered wrong.
And from the first paragraph above, I guess you understood the act of temptation from the above explanation. The reason most people fall for temptation is as a result of conceive thoughts. For what the heart do not conceive, the body do not act. So, without further delay, here are some practical ways to resist instant gratification and avoid temptation in a relationship whither you are married or single.
1. Positive Meditate
I love making reference from the Bible. You know, Proverb 4:20-23 says: “ My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”
Positive Meditation. It is one of the ways to improve self-control. Through regular practice of meditation, you can bring yourself out of the patterns of temptation, because you have learn to guide your thought diligently.
The temptation to cheat arises when you constantly fantasize about someone. Meditation helps stop this unnecessary chatter of the mind. Many people are unable to meditate in the beginning and they give up too soon because they didn’t guide discard some of the negative thoughts that was formed in their heart. But, do not despair if that happens. Start slow. Simply close your eyes and focus on your breath. It is completely natural for the mind to wander and jump from thought to thought. Bring it back gently to the breath. With repeated practice you will get better at it. There are many books along with the Bible that can guide your meditation to give you a better direction. In extreme cases, you might consider going away on a spiritual retreat for a few days to avoid temptation to sin.
Audion Credit: to Bishop David Oyedepo
2. Learn to appreciate your spouse To Avoid Temptation In A Relationship
The reason most people are victims of temptation is simply because they either do not see the positive aspect of their spouse. Which make them do not appreciate their spouse. This would cause theme to go looking for someone who they consider more perfect that their partner.
You have to learn how to appreciate your spouse, so, you do not fall into temptation. Appreciating that person you profess love to for who they are, What they don’t have and what they are doing to make you see them as your best.
Also check: Unhappy Relationship Signs
Make a list of your spouse’s good qualities no matter how s/he may be. Give gratitude each day for them. This will help you see them in a different light.
3. Communicate Love to your spouse
Most reason temptation do happen to those who are in marriage or relationship is because they most time do not communicate love. If I tell mine fiancee that I love her, and my action doesn’t show that I really do love her, then I have not communicated love to her.
You know, people only want to be where they are love, and where love can be easily communicated in action. Some people are complaining their patterner are cheating on them, the reason that happened in the first place could either be because you didn’t communicate love to them in doing. Doing means, I will not keep your weakness in heart if I love you. I will not hide secrets from my spouse when I know she has commit her trust to me. I will not go looking out for sexual satisfaction outside my relationship when a spouse is having health challenges, but would rather consider how to help them in their aspect of weakness. In so doing, I am communicating love,
The best thing to do when sexually tempted to cheat is to communicate love with your spouse/partner. Let them know what you are feeling. Healthy communication is very important for healthy relationship. Let your partner know what the relationship is lacking, if anything. Work together to rebuild it.
4. Break off all contact with the other party To Avoid Temptation In A Relationship
I learnt that when God is blessing a person, it also come with all form of temptation most especially when you are married on in a committed relationship. The ability to overcome such temptation is what would make you stand out even when others are failing in their relationship.
The best way to avoid temptation to sin is to remove the temptation. Cut off all contact with the person you are tempted to cheat with, if possible. If you work together, try to get reassigned to another project. Where possible, change jobs. This might be the hardest thing to do, but it is necessary if you wish to save your marriage or committed relationship. You especially need to stop all social media contact with them as well.
Video credit: Joel Osteen
5. Get occupied
Distract yourself, and get a hobby. Rather still, think of acquiring a skill. Start working out or take music lessons. Learn a new language or skill. Immerse yourself in a project at work. All these things go a long way in improving self-control by taking your mind off things that will either cause you to build up temptation in your mind before it become a reality.
6. Take a break
Take a break. Go away for a few days with your spouse/partner. Communicate with your partner while on this getaway. This is a necessary step to avoid temptation in a relationship.
7. Be open with your spouse
For people who are genuinely not interested in extramarital affairs, experts say when they start liking someone of the opposite sex, or when someone of the opposite sex starts getting too close or sending questionable signals, they should inform their spouse about it. This, they said, would put them in check. A psychologist, Dr. Eze John Eze, said people should be open to their partners about any fresh encounter or funny moves from people of the opposite sex. “The best thing is to tell your partner yourself, there is no need hiding it and don’t wait till they find out; openness is very important,” he added.
Also, a United States-based philosopher, Dr. Mark White, said confiding in a partner that there is such possibility lurking around the corner might be a difficult strategy, but it helps. He said, “No one is saying it’s easy to admit to your partner that you are tempted by (not merely attracted to) another person, but if you feel yourself succumbing to the temptation, then it is likely to hurt your partner one way or the other—but the pain will certainly be less if you tell him or her when it’s just temptation and not after it’s a fait accompli. Your partner may be hurt, of course, but hopefully he or she will also be grateful that you felt comfortable enough to be open about it rather than doing something that the relationship could not survive.”
8. Seek counseling
Findings have shown that talking to a friend, counsellor, religious leader, or anyone who knows better could help. This is because they could have passed through such or they could know a better way to deal with it, and this should be done before ‘anything’ happens and not after, because once it has happened before, it might happen again. Sometimes, talking to a professional or a trusted friend/family member can help. If you are unable to speak openly with your partner, talk to a professional/close friend instead. Tell them how you are feeling. Guidance from an expert can help.
9. Spice up intimacy with your partner
One of the most common reasons why men and women cheat is lack of sexual intimacy with their spouse/partner. Again, it helps if you can talk things out. If things still do not change, seek medical help.
Video credit: Dr. Myles Munroe
10. Understand difference between lust and love
Love and lust are two different things. Lust can be deadly attractive but it turns toxic after a while. Adultery and infidelity will only leave you feeling guilty all your life. Lust is a poison pill that tastes great for a while but turns fatal later.
Video credit: Dr. Myles Munroe
11. Stay away from people who encourage you to cheat
If someone speaks ill about your partner, or has himself/herself cheated, stay away from them. These are not your true friends. A true friend will not encourage you to fall into temptation.
12. Read positive books
There are many great books and blogs on the topic. Some of these blogs have even been written by men and women who have been on the receiving end of things from their partner’s affair. Reading these blogs can show you what a person goes through when they discover their partner’s affair. This should give you a perspective and help you avoid temptation to sin.
13. Meet such persons in the open
Beyond avoiding the person, people who are having soft spot for an opposite sex are also advised not to meet with them in lonely places. “If it’s unnecessary, avoid meeting with the person where something might happen. For example, let us assume that a co-worker is supposed to meet with the individual in a hotel, he could go with the wife. If the person knows that the partner is around, she’s more likely to be more restrained. It’s not a guarantee that the person would not attempt it, but the person would be restrained.” Going to such a meeting with a spouse could show the person that there is a commitment to the partner, which could deter such a person.
Also check: 8 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong
14. Be patient
Feelings come and go. Sleep on it. Pray, meditate, take a cold shower. These things can go a long way in helping you stay away from temptation to text, talk or meet your affair partner on the sly.