How To Find Purpose After A Hard Fall In Life
How to Find Purpose After A Hard Fall in Life
According to a playwright George Benard Shaw asserted, “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but useful than a life spent doing nothing.” To overcome fear and break the cycle, you have to be willing to recognize that you will spend much of your life making mistakes. The good news is that as soon as you start moving, it get easier. Even if have been depressed, loss focus, no dream to keep you going, there is always an opportunity to move forward and be a better person.
The life we live is about what purpose are you achieving. It’s either you’re making an impact with your purpos, contribute to somebody’s life as to achieve your destination, and make your dream achievable. You may have been heading the wrong way, but most times people could still trace thier steps to make their purpose a reality! If they have a new definition of failure. Not limiting their mind to see possibilities, after a hard fall in life purpose.
when Kathryn Joosten started out as a nurse and then was a stay-at-home mum. When her marriage failed, she thought she would chase her own dreams for once and become an actress – even though many would have considered her too old to start an acting career. It took her several years and she was almost 60, when she finally had the success she deserved for her never-tiring persistence.
Kathryn appeared in countless TV shows, such as Family Matters, My Name is Earl, Scrubs, and of course Desperate Housewives, winning two Emmy Awards for her performance as Karen McCluskey.
You are going through a tough phase in life? Or are you finding it difficult to find yourself a purpose. Then, I truely believe these information below can help you do excellent along in life.
1. Give yourself to positive information and space to grief, to heal
Out of the abundant of the heart, the mouth speaketh. This is where the information you dilute matter if you’re ready to make things different. Because every change first occurs in the mind, where your thoughts access how you interpret, act and judge things that are important to your growth.
Secondly I’m not going to tell you that what doesn’t break you will make you stronger. Instead I’m going to tell you to grieve and take some time out for yourself first. Our society today is very much about doing. Move on. Get over things. Get over yourself.
Yet we are humans, not robots. When we fall we need time to heal and climb back up. When we have an emotional fall the wounds may not be visible, but they cut so much deeper than physical wounds. Trying to “move on” when we are still hurting and feeling lost not only hurts us, but may cut us deeper and leave us more broken.
Take some time out for yourself. To heal. To recover. To find yourself. Give yourself the space to grieve, cry, and mourn over your loss. Pour your heart out on paper. Talk to your loved ones and share your pain. Spend some time alone, by yourself. If you are working, take a few days of no-pay leave (if you don’t have paid leave left) to rest and get a timeout. Work can continue for a while without you. But you, you need time to rest, recuperate, and heal, before stepping forward.
2. Give your attention to the things that matters
Maybe you feel lost because you have been working so hard on something that amounted to nothing. Maybe you just lost your job. Maybe your marriage ended in shambles. Maybe your business is not doing well. Maybe you just lost a loved one . Or maybe you just lost your baby, a pain that no one should ever have to go through in their lifetime.
The thing is that most times we tend to try every opportunity after a hard fall in life. Trying to find pleasure where we cannot get it from, putting our energy to what are not relevant to our purpose or life. Trying to do what we emulate from someone lifestyle that may not be in line of our purpose; because we think anyway may bring us more closer to our purpose and fulfillment.
In these darkest of times, think about the things and people that matter and know what needs your attention. Your parents perhaps. Your sibling(s) if you have one. Your partner. Your passion. Your beliefs. The people you care about, whom you’ve touched. Your children, if you have any. A love one.
When all hope seems lost, remember that you are not alone. If you find it very hard to think about someone or something you care about, close your eyes and ask yourself, “What matters to me? What matters to me in this world?” Write down all your answers in your notebook, and write until you cry and until you can cry no more. As you lie in a state of grief, think about the things that give you light.
3. Reflect on your future
The future belongs to those whom will deliberately make decisions. You may have been wounded, but don’t remain there. Reflect on your future and take action.
When you’re ready, and only when you’re ready, think about your life ahead. As you stand and see your life before you, what do you see and how you tend to moving forward?
For example, 5 years from now, what do you wish to see in your life?
Do you want to start a family, if you don’t have one yet?
Do you want to work on a new career?
Do you want to run your business or start a new one if your previous business failed?
If you’re single, do you want to be married or be in a relationship?
Where do you see yourself living? .
Do you want to be living in the same country or elsewhere?
What do you want to be doing?
It doesn’t have to be one answer but a few answers. Doing this envisioning exercise is about getting clarity of what you want. Defining a direction that you care about. This direction can be the exact same one you were working on before. It can be a similar direction to what you were doing before but altered based on your new priorities in life. It can be a totally different one. Take a good timeout to think about what you want.
“What do you want to see in your future, 5 years from now?” This future can involve being a full-time mom. It can involve running a successful business. It can involve having a family and running a business of meaning to you. Alternatively, it can involve returning to employment while starting a family. There are no right or wrong answers, only what inspires you and what you want to do.
The most important thing is to know that there is no right or wrong answer, only what matters to you. There is great fulfillment in being a single business owner. You can also be a multi-tasking parent and entrepreneur, managing family and business. Or you can be married with no kids by your choice, dedicating yourself to your goals, career, partner, and family members. Your vision can also change along the way, and it is okay.
Know that our visions are meant to be dynamic reflections of what we want at this current moment. We will change, and our goals will change, andit is okay. What’s more important is that we have a vision that inspires us enough to take us forward, and we continuously update that to reflect what inspires us now.
Likewise if you are a guy, you can be a full-time dad if this is what works for you. You can be a full-fledged entrepreneur building your business. You can be a family man having a stable job and raising your family. You can be a nomad traveling across countries and speaking at different places where you go. This is no one fixed path, but the path that holds the most meaning to you. None of the path is better or more superior than the other, just different.
4. Start to pick up the pieces
When you return to life after a hard fall, it may feel disjointing. You may do X but think about Y. You may feel like you are at a loss. You may feel distanced, like you are far away from the things you are doing even though you are trying to move full steam ahead.
Start with the things you have and give it meaning. What did you enjoy doing before? Start with these.
Maybe you enjoyed writing. Start writing a few articles. Pen down your deepest feelings. Write not for others, but for yourself.
Maybe you liked going for walks with your partner. Add this to your routine.
Maybe you liked watching movies. Pick a few new releases and watch them.
Maybe you enjoyed volunteering, which you find purposeful as you help out individuals in need. Go for some volunteer work that you care about.
Maybe you liked to work as working keeps your mind moving and your work allows you to do very meaningful stuff. Take on projects that inspires you the most, that get to create the most impact.
The goal is to reintroduce the things you liked about your life back into your routine, at your own pace. Also, focus on doing things that interest you. Doing things out of obligation. Let yourself be guided by what you want, what you love, not what you feel you have to do.
5. Start rebuilding your life foundation
Once you are ready, it’s time to rebuild your life. Remember the vision you have?
How can you get started with that?
Perhaps you lost your child and you are grieving over his passing. You still hope to have a child one day, to start a family. When you are ready, try for another child with your partner.
Maybe you just ended a marriage. You are still hurting but you have decided that it’s time to move on.
There’s no need to jump right back into the dating scene if you’re not ready. In fact, use this time to focus on yourself. To work on the goals you couldn’t when you were married. To date yourself and fall in love with life again as a single.
Maybe you just went through a crushing business failure or your business is tanking. You feel ashamed and you’re not sure what to do next about your business.
Remember that businesses fail all the time though. Colonel Sanders was rejected 1,009 times when he tried to sell his now famous KFC recipe. Richard Branson, business magnate and billionaire, has failed in many businesses, from Virgin Cola to Virgin Brides to Virgin Cars. Steve Jobs got fired from the very company he founded, and very publicly so. (He would be famously rehired later.)
That your business has failed or yet to take off is hardly the exception but the norm, especially in today’s ultra-competitive marketplace. In fact every entrepreneur almost certainly fails a few times at least before succeeding. As Richard Branson says, “Every person, and especially every entrepreneur, should embrace failure with open arms. It is only through failure that we learn.” The focus here isn’t “How can I not fail?” but “How can I fail quickly, learn from my failures ASAP, and use these lessons to achieve my next success?”
If income is a concern, get a job or do some part-time work first. Budget and save up while you work on your business on the side. Quit when you gain enough traction to make a living from your business.
Maybe you just got retrenched. Your previous company is the only thing you’ve ever known your entire working life. Take this as a fresh new start. Your previous company is not you.
What are some goals you’ve always wanted to pursue? Hobbies? Take this chance to explore them. Is there a different industry you’d like to dip your toes in? Create a plan that safeguards your financial risks while paving your new path. No matter what you think, you are never alone. That even in times of darkness, you can see a light. A light that is inside you, that is burning brightly within you.