How You Can Solve Parents Disapproval To Support Your Goals
Good day Friends, Season Greetings to you! Today I’ll believe you! I’ll walk in the ability to become the person of God Destiny for your life, and a living success to accomplish your dreams to achieve your goals. Maybe you are at the cross-road of two great choices of your life, between two options when it comes to choosing your dreams/career and your parents seems never to be in support of your dreams, goals, vision or plans. Today, I’ll take you step by step on how You can solve parents disapproval to support your goals or dreams.
Today many teenagers/youths face the challenges of living their dreams to become a happier person having life fulfilment. To some, their parents had to force them to take a course which is neither their fulfillment to their life purpose. Some are either as a background relegation based on the circumstances that surrounds their family, so parents are forced to tell their child to pick up well-paying professional courses and read hard so to get a better jobs in the future, and assist the family. And however, most of these individuals never become the star light their parents wanted them to become in such professional field. Some ends up leaving someone’s dream to please their parents, not living their lives to influence their spheres of contact; but just living their life to survive in time.
While I was age 17, my eldest brother wrote jamb and (Post Utme) in Benin city, Nigeria. Had good score and gained admission to study politically science at (Abraka – Delta State University). To earn his dream, and to fulfil is life purpose in career. However, his dream to see the future hope of the political happening of the next generation. But my Dad in Love of his son will become an ‘Accountant’ turn him down, and made it known never to support his education if he however wants to study Political science rather than Accounting. In fate, he took a step and my mum assisted him in doing his clearance, but when it was time to pay his year 1 school fee, my dad insisted he will give him no support as long it’s not his will to study Political Science. And he couldn’t get the help he wanted, but had to drop out from tertiary instirtue. Reseat but could not gain tertiary admission to study accounting. I guess you want to know the end of the story? Then you can ask me after reading.
If you read the story above ↑ and perhaps experiencing same trying time, one of such question in your head is: “what can I do about my parents limiting behavior toward my plans and vision?” Or what can be done when parents who hold me back and disallow change when you want to make a change ?”
1 . Know your parents ’ concerns.
Even though your parents may seem like a nag, they usually come with good reason for objecting you. For example, your parents objecting to your career choice. Try to understand why. Ask yourself, “ Why?” and try to ask yourself the following to come up with a different answers without bias to what your parents think.
Why do they object to your new career path? → perhaps they feel that you won’t earn a good and stable income.
Why is this important to parents who object their child for taking any profession they like or goals as they want?
Your parents are much concern about your success and financial stability. Because income stability is important in life. And many things in life-like (housing choices, day to day living, and life options) depend on money, at least in our current world. Your parents, being older, have likely seen the problems that come with financial instability, which makes them resistant when they see you walking down a potentially negative path.
In another example, your parents are fixated on you being a banker, accountant, or engineer, and become disapproving when you opt for a different degree. Why? Because they feel that these high paying careers will give you financial stability.
2. Discuss with your parents so to understand their reasons. Perhaps you’ve tried talking to your parents to no avail. Then try again. This time, apply these tips : But do the following,
• Don ’t accuse them! Because they are right in their own knowledge to whatever they’ll think about your goals or profession.
• Don’t involve accusation while
discussing with your parents. You know here in Africa, you don’t have to write off your parents idea, accusing them will heed to no results to see the possibilities in your goals.
• Focus on understanding from their point. For example, don’t tell your parents, “ You are so close – minded ”, “You don’t see anything positive” or “ You’re always objecting to everything I do !” Rather , ask , “ Can you let me know why you disapprove my goals or decisions?”
Then listen without bias, and ask questions and listening to their side of the view. After understanding the full picture, allay their concerns. If they object to your career because this could be the reasons:
(a ) they are afraid you ’ ll face financial stability
(b) they don’ t want you to suffer in life what they did suffer, let them know your career plans. How you plan to safeguard your finances, and your backup plan if things don’ t work out. Let them know that you have things mapped out .
(c) They’re afraid your professional may render you jobless, especially if your field are not everyday needed in today’s world. And this could break down you career motivation later in the future.
(d) Educate your parents. Some parents grew up in a different era from our parents. I still remember years back after my brother told my Dad he wanted to study political science, his question was “can you get a job with such profession, and to sustain your own family?” My parents grew up in a world where there were no computers and internet, even if they later had to learn or use it few times. But you’ll have to bring to their awareness the world has changed immensely, it has naturally led to different behaviors, mindsets in just one generation. And that’s fine, because it’s about educating your parents of these changes. Even if our parents may be outdated in their thoughts, it’s about updating them with new happening.
What to do
1. As best as possible, explain to your parents what you are doing, why you are doing this.
2. Let them know that a career is more than just about financial stability, and there are other things like personal happiness and fulfillment involved.
3. Let them know why your career choice isn’t scary, and show them examples of people who have pursued similar paths and succeeded ( gather newspaper clippings, print outs from news sites. ).
4. Always be consistent to share with them achievers stories in same profession. The more you do this, the more they will realize that there is a whole different world out there, and there is more for them to learn from you and assist with their gathered experience.
5. Get a third-party to chime in. Someone your parents look up to in wisdom to guide their path, or a family member or friends who is much knowledgeable about your career. When it’s just you coming yo talk to them about it, your parents may not consider you serious. To them, “wisdom comes with age! And what a father sees while sitting down, a child cannot learn while standing on a high hill.” And to their knowledge, you are a child who they think cannot differentiate what is futurely acceptable. Your parents may not take your words seriously. If your friends have met your parents before, and /or you are on good terms with your parents ’confidants (like your aunt , uncle , grandparents), talk to them. Explain your goal and why it ’s important.
6. Make a final decision. If your parents keep objecting, draw a line and make a stance. Let them know, “You understand why you are doing this for your own good, based on your research done. I want you to try this out . I hope you can support me, Dad /Mum. ” Give them assurances of your success even if you will never ask for their financial support .“ Also make your parents understand while money is important, it’s also important that you choose a path that align to your potential, skill and ability.
7 . Know that you don’ t need your parents ’ approval . To begin with , the success of your goal is not contingent on your parents’ approval . Unless your parents are cutting you off , like throwing you out of the house or cutting off your allowance (if you ’re still financially dependent) , you can still pursue your path without their blessing. If they constantly discourage you, assert yourself .
6 . Less talk , more action . All talk is pointless if there are no results . If you’ ve tried talking but your parents don’ t listen , devote yourself to your goal. Let your results speak for themselves . With each discouragement, use it as ammunition to spur yourself to achieve more results. You want your parents to trust you, so show them why you deserve their trust by bringing your plans to live.
8 . Get your parents involve, not to work with you, but to show them what you are learning/doing to get them on board. If running your business is your goal, keep them posted on your latest projects, next steps, and upcoming milestones. When your parents learn more about your path through your actions, they’ll start to be less judgmental and negative, and become more understanding and supportive .
In conclusion, you have the power to make to achieve what ‘Dreams Or Goals’ you want to. Don’t let what you feel your parents think stop you from getting to your fulfillment. I see you succeeding